Can you hear them gears a shifting?

Just wanted to let everyone know--yes, that includes you!--that the content/format of my blog is shifting gears.  I am really hoping to explore and expand upon my creative writing portfolio and would like to use this site as a guinea pig for this new direction!  Now, that's not to say there won't still be a "life of candace" update now and again, but (hopefully) they will be far and few between!  SO, if you read something that you like, please TELL ME!!  I am looking for as much feedback, constructive criticism, etc. as I can get, so don't be shy!  Get in there and get your hands dirty!

With that being said, I will be posting my most recent short story soon, possibly later today.  I'm really excited about really digging in deep and fleshing out some good ole' fashioned creativity!  And, as with most things in life, the fruits of creativity are most delectable when shared!  :)

thoughts on fulfillment

Fulfillment is an illusive ghost.  It nags at its victim over a simple cup of morning tea; it sends her shivering in the down comfort of night. As the intangible aftertaste of its sister, hope, fulfillment manages to strike down the bearer by reminding her that she is, essentially, unfulfilled.  Thus the search for fulfillment often has the opposite effect by leaving the seeker feeling evermore lost and empty than when the quest began.  Quests are tricky in that way: once you make your way in you could very well never find your way back out.

Moral to the story?  Fully accept the seeming emptiness and one's cup of life will soon find itself copious and ever the more flavorful.  

Girls with Bangs (#104)

Stuff White People Like

by Christian Lander

#104 Girls with Bangs

If you see a white woman and you are trying to figure out whether she is liked or just merely tolerated by white people, the best thing you can do is get a quick look at her haircut. It is a known fact that white people love women who wear their hair with bangs that hang straight down.

A number of very popular white women have worn this hairstyle including Joni Mitchell, Jane Birkin, Jenny Lewis and every girl ever photographed by Vice Magazine or the Cobrasnake. (Note: it is a good idea to familiarize yourself with these two things as they are both beloved by cool white people. Follow up note: these same things are hated by cooler white people).

Many people associate this type of haircut with children and people looking for the most efficient way to get hair out of their eyes. But for white people, this simple haircut makes a bold declaration by saying that the wearer is artistic, deep, and has probably dated a guy in a band you like. Of course, as with many things loved by white people, simple often means expensive and these haircuts usually cost upwards of $100.

It is essential for you to know this haircut is more than a mere fashion statement– it is an important cultural marking. Throughout the world, many cultures feature ceremonies to announce that a girl has become a woman. For white people, the haircut-with-bangs is an important symbol that a female has completed her transformation from a nerdy girl to a cool woman. In fact, if you went to high school with a nerdy white girl who moved to a big city, there is a good chance she will show up to your high school reunion with this haircut.

When you are introduced to a group of white people, it’s a good idea to befriend the girl with the bangs. She’s probably the most popular.

wait... so...bangs are good...right? guys? hello?

Uh Oh.

For David

(Cuz that's what heartbroken ones do: we write bad poetry)

There once was a boy named David
Who sat in his room and hated
The world and the women in it.
His heart had been broken
By she who was chosen
As his love forevermore.

So alone David sat
Like a mouse from a cat.
Sad eyes never lie
But to say goodbye
To a love that is nevermore.

There once was a boy named David
Who sat in his room and hated
The world and the women in it.
Till the door cracked open
And David found hope in
The love he would share once more.

Somethings Gotta Give

I, along with so many other women, seem to catch so much slack from men for getting sucked into the same predictable, two-dimensional, often-times sappy "chick flick." And I admit it: nine times out of ten, they really are terrible. But I love them anyway, something I often feel secretly ashamed of, as if this somehow detracts from my credibility as a woman. The truth is, there are reasons why chick flicks are so successful and why so many of us fall victim to their charms. They give us hope. They remind us of the possibility, the potential for love. And if we are lucky enough to have already found the loves of our lives, well, we still devour the chick flick if only because it serves as a reminder of the preciousness of what we already have. Somehow, we see ourselves in the characters, no matter how quirky or mysterious they may be. We see ourselves in their faces and suddenly it is our eyes that sparkle and dance. That beautiful man is suddenly falling in love with us. We feel beautiful again. We feel worthy of love when otherwise all seems lost.

So do not chastise and do not tease. The heart is, indeed, a labyrinth of ups and downs. Thank God we have the ever-present chick flick for support, to help us rejoice when we're in the clouds and get back on our feet after the falls.

Top films of the year (2008)

The Top Five:

5.  Rock-n-Rolla

     This was a surprising little treat of a film by Guy Richie (Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels; Snatch; Layer Cake; etc.).  In true Richie fashion, the film follows a couple of amateur criminals as they become more and more entangled in the web of London's mob world, only to surface miraculously unscathed and, arguably, all the wiser for it.  It's witty, complex, and beautifully filmed.  Definitely worth a watch!

4.  The Dark Knight

     What could be more enjoyable than a mass-marketed, blockbuster piece of nihilism in which the damsel in distress dies, no one wins (least of all, Batman), and the actor behind one of the most disturbing, frightening villains in all of film is dead in real life?  Ooooooh...sends chills of pleasure down my spine just thinking about it!  :)

3.  Vicky Christina Barcelona

     This is actually the newest addition to my list, having finally seen it this morning!  However, I must admit that, being a fan of Woody Allen, I was secretly reserving a space for this little menage a trois of an adventure, knowing I would fall in love with it at first sight.  Predictable, I know.  Still, I just couldn't help myself.  Even if you are not particularly fond of Woody Allen, you may very well like this film.  However, I must forewarn you:  the ending is a bit unresolved, so if you like your movies nicely packaged, wrapped, and tied with a bow, skip this one and move on to #2.

2.  Wall-E

     I know, I know.  If everyone would just take a moment to stop drooling all over Wall-E they might actually realize it is an animated film!!!  Animation simply isn't supposed to be this damn good!!!  Right?  Guys?  Hello? 

     WRONG: Not only is it good, it really is that good.  Hell, I'm drooling all over the keyboard   as I speak.  I freakin' loved this movie.  The artistry is absolutely breathtaking, the not-so subtle dystopic undertones are still quirky enough to rule out snooty condescension, and above all else, it's endearing in a "the world may be going to hell but at least there's still loooovveee" kind of way.  (I mean, let's face it, I've never felt such an overwhelming compulsion to give a robot a hug.  Ok, maybe a kiss on the cheek too... I am a sucker for heaps of metal with a heart, after all.)

1.  Milk

     It's really quite simple: An inspiring man, an inspiring story, an unforgettable portrayal of both.  The acting is superb, the writing is perfection, and the cinematography is spot-on.  Why on earth Harvey Milk is not in the history books right there next to MLK, Ghandi, Stanton and others just goes to show how warped our society really is.  To Harvey--and all the other nameless faces of equality--here's to you! 

Honorable Mentions (in no particular order):

Doubt

Priceless

Iron Man

Man On Wire

Pineapple Express

Most Overrated Movies of the Year:

1. Slumdog Millionaire

     I could--and probably will--write an entire post on why this film doesn't deserve all of the attention and accolades it is getting as of late, but I'll save that for another day.

2. Benjamin Button

3. Tropic Thunder

Subbing Moments, We Salute You!

It has been over two months now that I have been substituting here in Portland and, unfortunately, things simply haven't picked up the way I had hoped.  I am still only getting one, maybe two, calls a week (this week I didn't get any!), and quite frankly, such sporadic work simply isn't sustainable.  Tutoring at Huntington has proved equally lackluster.  And so, it looks as though it is back to the drawing board!  Hoorah!  But before I leave my distinguished sub career behind, I thought I would share a few highlights from the road:

5.  Arriving to a school where the teacher left absolutely NOTHING to do.  No sub plans, no worksheets, no movies.  Nada.  Luckily, the Assistant Principal was good-hearted enough to scrounge together random DVDs from surrounding classrooms.  The day's lesson evolved into a film fest of the following: The Incredibles, Why Dog's Smile and Chimpanzees Cry (a Discovery Channel documentary), The Lost Boys of Sudan, and Speak, a film about a young teen who is raped summer before freshman year of high school.

4.  Being totally and completely DOMINATED by a 7th grade Dance Class.  Thirty-three thirteen-year-old girls.  One unfortunate substitute.  'Nuff said.

3.  Being referred to as "the super strict one" in the hall of a particularly rowdy middle school.  Silent high-five to me!  Woohoo!   yes, I believe this was the crowning glory of my subbing experience.

2.  Same day, same class:  boy eats paper.  Seriously.  Is moved to another desk- and away from the squealing girl sitting next to him- and continues to glower at his classmates as he chews on another 5 x 3 index card.  Creepy.

1.  One of my most productive, stress-free days?  Teaching a middle-school Intro to Spanish class.  yes, my friends!  Miracles do indeed happen!