Big sigh...

As I sauntered into class this morning, I was greated by a rather large giftbag overflowing with blue tissue paper, patiently sitting on my desk. In the bag I found an assortment of hallmark "congrats" cards, one from each of my classes and another from Mrs. C, my Co-op. Each class had signed the cards with individual little messages, wishing me luck, thanking me for helping them this semester, well-wishes, etc. It was ridiculously cute, I assure you. There was much heart-swelling on my part. As a gift, Mrs. C. had provided me with the basic essentials for any beginning teacher: dark chocolate, green tea (mugs included), and a coffee/tea maker. This was especially sentimental considering Mrs. C and I's routine over the past two months: start out the morning with a hot cup of tea, nibbles of dark chocolate providing sustanance throughout the day. (The difficulty level of a day could often be measured by how much chocolate was consumed: a single chocolater would be considered a downhill sleigh ride, while 4-5 pieces would be a clear sign of headaches, deep breaths, and inspirational monologues.)

So today was my last day in the classroom. I completed my observations, raided Mrs. C's file cabinet, cleaned off my desk and said goodbye to my kids via white-board (which I thought was rather apropos). I decided to take off at the beginning of fourth period, having nothing left to do but sit and reminisce. I was not prepared for the cacophony of protests that greeted me as I began to gather my things. I was profoundly touched and did my best not to linger, soaking in as much positive affirmation of these many months of hard work as possible.

The truth of the matter is, I am going to miss it. I'm going to miss the classroom and the day-to-day routines. Most of all, I will miss the kids. I will miss hearing them call me by my last name. I will even miss their whining and disruptive banter, times in which I often had to hold back my laughter and put on my "stern" face, if only for pretense. Still, by the end of the six weeks, I stopped holding back and laughed openly with them. This was a relief for both of us I think. They were a good group. Challenging, yes. Hard-headed, lazy, apathetic--good GOD! Still, there was a spark there. I saw it; they felt it. What more could I ask for?

And so I am finished. Done.
I completed the hardest semester of my academic life thus far and--most importantly--I did it all on my own. There was no one waiting for me at home to rub my feet or give me words of comfort or fix me dinner. For these things, and more, I looked to myself; I dug deep and found a strength I didn't even know was there.
For this inner strength and for the friends and family who gave me countless words of encouragement along the way, I will be eternally grateful.